Athel Mori Scoring Glories

Race:  Wood Elf
Coach:  Riley
Beyond the misty coasts of Grand Cathay lays a small chain of islands, great sloped mountains rising from the ocean. Wreathed in mist stands the last great forest of this distant realm, Athel Mori, where the noblest of the old elf clans practice the great arts: cultivating the sea, taming the mountains, studying the ways of the blade and bow, and above all… the true art of Blood Bowl. Enter the Scoring Glories.

A field in blood sown
And within every drop
Our victory blooms.

(Logo provided by CandyCoutureBoutique- check them out on RedBubble)

Athel Mori Scoring Glories team badge
Bulletin board from the coach
Aug. 10th, 2021 - old news
Your Essential Greens
Hail mary and well met, readers! Today promises to be an epic contest of might against flight, where atrocity meets velocity, where muscle takes on hustle. I was able squeeze through the crowds at the Breakfast Scramblers' Griddle Iron stadium today for an exclusive interview with the #1 wardancer of the Athel Mori Scoring Glories.

Ba’al: “Green. It’s a color much beloved by the wood elves and orcs alike, albeit for much different reasons. How do you feel about the matchup of controlling greenskins versus the elves that want to control the green?”

“The wind passes through
All crags of the mountaintop
No matter how tall.”

“Uh… yes… very interesting. It appears as though the Breakfast Scramblers are missing two key orc players, along with several goblins, while the Scoring Glories are missing a lineman. How will this assist you in your game plan today?”

“One must sheath the blade
Sometimes the warriors path
Lies in the cool shade.”

“Of course… well, would you care to give your new fans, elves as well as other agility-minded folk, a message before the big game?”

“Take solace from earth
Not from the stars in the sky
Whose shine gives no warmth”

“Thank you, Mr. Saphitomo. Truly, um… inspirational? Best of the luck in the... yeah.”

After planting myself in the visitor section, wondering whether the significant presence of ivy and vines was a welcoming addition by the black orcs for their sylvan opponents or just reflective of their caretakers neglect of the stadium, I sipped on my lemonsquig while inspecting the teams. The black orcs were formidable lineman, taller even than the lithe elves, and broader than four of them put together. The goblins themselves seemed to make up for their size with a sort of plucky fury.

The Breakfast Scramblers have elected to receive first, and an unfortunate missed swing by a goblin bruiser causes an early turnover. However after a decent blitz, the elves return the fast turnover after poor footwork sends an line elf tumbling. After a messy tussle at the heart of the griddle, the goblins get fingers on squigskin and make a frantic pass to the midfield to get the ball out of the sights of murderous wardancer Tyrinojo. It scatters into a melee and a bona fide brawl breaks out, resulting in Teclisama Sapphitomo himself nabbing the ball and flying to the far left of the pitch. He tries to break through but the goblins of the Breakfast Scramblers scramble into place, making a breakthrough a perilous proposition. The ball changes hands and goes from side to side, before at last line elf #9 is able to take it across the finish line after making no fewer than a catch, two dodges, and rushing twice. The black orcs receive again, and while able to knock out a couple of the Glories, do not score in the remaining turns.

It’s the second half and everyone is back on the pitch, a statement that every elf coach dreams of saying. The black orcs kick to the elves, who pass the ball about it some sort of flagrant display of skill. Was that a back flip by the catcher? It seems a bit excessive, and it seems an black orc agrees as he barrels down the center toward the hapless elf. Forced to ditch their circus routine, the catcher dashes up the side and hands off to the wardancer, who is quickly bogged down in yet more goblins. However these journeymen goblin prove not to be a part of this complete breakfast, as one is pushed aside and two more are thrown off the griddle— and the crowd goes squig wild on them! Oh, the humanity! Or rather the lack thereof! Teclisama manages to nab the ball under a goblin’s sizeable nose and takes it in for a touchdown.

This has been a long game indeed folks. The sun is nearly setting and the refs are getting ready to call it. The greenskins are not fans of the nuances of the elf game, and boredom and libations have rendered many unconscious. The black orcs manage to score the final touchdown with goblin Waffles, and I’m not talking about the kind that comes with squigbutter and syrup. The contest ends 2 to 1 in the Scoring Glories’ favor. Perhaps the elves have what it takes to make it in the Critical Hit League after all, dear reader. I will be here covering the elves from Athel Mori and their precarious path to potential prestige, bound by both love of the game and contractual obligation.

See you coach,
Billy Ba’al
Reporter, End Times
- Riley
July 15th, 2021 - old news
Death Drives on the Pitch
“That is not dead which eternal may find a match.
For when strange eons pass, even death may catch.”

This enigmatic epitaph is all we could get from the wood elves’ head coach before their first game of the season today. The Scoring Glories were on the field stretching and passing long before the coin toss, wondering whether the undead shamblers of Death By Rock N’ Roll would even show. As an away game on the islands of Nippon beyond Great Cathay, no one could hardly blame them. But the terrible truth revealed itself as a lineelf tripped and screeched over a pale, decrepit hand rising from the pitch. The Rockers had actually arrived a day early, partied long into the night, and were now rumbling back to the life as their head necromancer prepared a wicked ritual from the lore of metal with an arcane set of amps and subwoofers. As the dead rose from wherever they had fallen from last night’s festivities, the record-attendence in the Grand Mori Temple to Nuffle knew the game was on— and that they should have brought ear plugs.

Billy Ba’al here, halfling sports and war correspondent for the End Times weekly paper, to cover this opening match in the much-coveted, much-cursed-at Critical Hit Cup. After rolling the bones, Death By Rock N’ Roll’s head necromancer elects to kick at the start of the first half. Maybe it’s me, or maybe it’s the funny-smelling smoke coming from the Rocker’s locker room, but it is starting to get swelteringly hot here at the Grand Temple. Let’s hope it doesn’t adversely affect the players. Woah… I just realized my quill feather used to be on a bird. Wheeee! Fly quilly, fly! Dude, I could sure use some concessions about now…

It will have to wait! The first kick is on point, and Death By Rock N’ Roll are showing there’s still life in those limbs. A successful blitz play puts the woodies on the back foot in the first half. That doesn’t stop them from making a few passes to each other in the back field. Someone should tell that thrower the game has started. But the crowd is loving it, and their cheering only amplifies when two of the undead lineman are knocked out. The Scoring Glories seem to be toying with their opponents. At last the solo catcher makes a run, handing off to a lineelf who barrels down the field. Could this be the early touchdown the Glories are famed for? Suddenly cut off, the lineelf must double back where he hands off to Wardancer Tyrionojo Cothiqaru. Wardancer gets the ball, gets ready, and… oh! A zombie puts him down for the count.

After a rocky series of plays which happened too fast for me to record, and not just because that smoke is really taking the edge off, the Glories’ catcher runs it in for a touchdown. However, the teams are not looking too hot. Oh wait, that is the problem. A wardancer and blitzer collapse and are hauled off to the sidelines.

The remaining half sees the undead lineup of Death By Rock N’ Roll coordinating with jaw-dropping finesse, despite the dropping of several lineman’s jawbones. After knocking some heads and kicking some asrai, a ghoul is able to saunter into the endzone with the ball just before halftime is called. Things are looking grave for the Glories, whose heat-struck wardancer is immediately supplanted by another wardancer! When called on to comment after the game, they would insist that they were pausing to perform mandatory stretching exercises. On the visiting team, another blitzer was lost to the heat despite a shocking lack of organs.

Going into the second half, the remaining wardancer seems to have snuck in something shiny between his knuckles. After the kick he quickly knocked a lineman the ground, but after the skeleton cried out to his mummy he was swiftly avenged. That’s a wrap on Tyrionojo for now. The ghouls prove again they are no puny elf’s fool as they cage up and march up the field with impunity to finish the game 1 to 2. After a solid thrashing for much of the game, thrower Naeyama Lorenoshi returns for another famous pass and time is called before any more broken elves are thrown in their macabre sauna of a dugout.

The Athel Mori Scoring Glories will have to step up their performance if they want a chance to compete in their first Critical Hit Cup. Anyone else who has a bone to pick with Death By Rock N’ Roll will certainly need to prepare themselves against another flawless performance, lest they themselves meet death by being rocked— or possibly rolled.

See you coach,
Billy Ba’al
Reporter, End Times
- Riley
Tournaments played:
Playing in:
CHC Season 32
Trophies won:


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